Story 5 in the "Funny ISP Story" series.
(From 1996, by Hillary (Gorman) Israeli, netaxs)


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Subject:      Bell Atlantic Lusers
From:         Hillary Gorman 
Date:         1996/02/09
Message-Id:   
Newsgroups:   alt.sysadmin.recovery
[More Headers]

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*ahem*

the bell guy in the basement is mucking around checking connections and
muttering. most of the muttering seems to include sentence fragments like
"not sure"  "what the fuck"  "don't know why" "more slack" and such.

michael jumped in and managed to keep him from unplugging two cables by
showing him where the slack was so he didn't need to unplug them to open
one of the demarc blocks.

apparently, this bell guy is not the bell guy who is assigned to us. the
guy who is assigned to us OF COURSE had to go to a funeral today. the guy
who is here says he was counting on "the cable guy who's been here
before" to explain everything to him. the cable guy's TRUCK is outside,
but the cable GUY is not. no one can find him.

i suggested that the bell guy call his supervisor, but he didn't want to
do that. luckily, avi is on his way to wyndmoor. i hope he gets here
before the entire thing gets ripped out of the wall...

hillary

From: hillary@netaxs.com (Hillary Gorman)
Subject: Re: Bell Atlantic Lusers
Date: 1996/02/09
Message-ID: <4fgbq5$3e3@netaxs.com>#1/1
X-Deja-AN: 138773819
references: 
organization: Philadelphia's Complete Internet Provider
newsgroups: alt.sysadmin.recovery

followup to my own post...
it was truly a beautiful scene...
michael seated in a chair with a screwdriver in one hand, wire-strippers 
in the other hand. he's making terrifying gestures with them.
avi standing elbows akimbo in front of the rack, facing down 4 Bell 
Atlantic Lusers.

Avi: so, bottom line, you haven't done anything at all yet today except 
wait for each other to get here, and now you are going to check the 
sheets which you think might have a good guess as to which lines come in 
where, and you are going to try to organize our new hunt from those 
sheets which are probably wrong, because i KNOW some of the lines have 
rotted out of the wall. is that the case?

Bell Luser Spokesman: yeah
Other Bell Lusers: 

Avi: well, so once you start this, if it gets to be after 5 and you have 
it all messed up, someone WILL be available to fix it. right? RIGHT??

Bell Luser Spokesman:  oh, 
suuure, yeah, no problem.

Avi: ok

Bell Luser Group exits to go find questionable sheets.
Avi:   i'm having a 
bad day, guys.


we are still waiting for the B.L.G. to return.

hillary